Comments for unwellness

Comment on If I run so fast, can you see me? by Stranger

Stranger — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 23:11:59 +0000

I miss you guys.

xxoo

Comment on If I run so fast, can you see me? by kizzbeth

kizzbeth — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 20:51:27 +0000

I love that photo so much. You folks are gorgeous!

Comment on Bamboo forest by Phaedra

Phaedra — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 05:10:56 +0000

Cutest! (not iPad cutesy)

Comment on Bamboo forest by Phaedra

Phaedra — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 05:09:02 +0000

This might be the cutesy picture ever.

Comment on I like watching him decorate way more than I ever liked decorating by MsDee

MsDee — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 06:47:31 +0000

I know how you feel watchingJake and Danny was so precious for me

Comment on Bamboo forest by Amy

Amy — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 21:14:22 +0000

Gorgeous picture!!

Comment on november by Julie

Julie — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 01:21:24 +0000

You wrote this on the twins’ birthday, a birthday for which they asked for Star Warz toys (they have not seen the movies), Transfrmers, and other “boy” stuff. Despite the fact they have only seen PBSkids and the equivalent, and haven’t seen these other things, they are now at the stage where their friends and family are playing with these things so that they are automatically interested in them. We got them each a Transfmr and a superhero action figure. I did not know that the transformr had a gun (though I can’t tell it’s a gun – M told me he thinks that’s what it is). When M noticed it he said, “Mommy you’re not gonna like this, I think he has a gun.” Then he went on to list all of the other things that he can pretend it is instead of a gun. I wasn’t sure what to think of the whole exchange or what to do either. J had just had surgery, so taking the Transfmr away wasn’t a good option. I didn’t feel compelled to either, because they are not rough kids at this point, and we talk so much about war and peace and kindness and cruelty that they know where Patrick and I stand. I often find myself saying, “You know how I feel about it, but you can make your own choice.” Pretend play bothers me less than actual meanness or rudeness- I have no tolerance for that. I do question them on their pretend scenarios sometimes to make them think further about what a “bad guy” means to them or how they are pretending to deal with the bad guy.

Beck is still young. You are putting down a great foundation, and you continue to raise him in a way that insists upon kindness over rudeness and roughness. Will that keep him from veering from your path when with friends or in a non-home environment? No, but your foundation is his home base, something to which he can always return. In the meantime I’m sure you’ll school him when he’s been unkind or hurtful to others. Don’t feel so bad about the “selfishness” of you feeling mortified that he called a teacher stupid. I worry much more about parents who always blame others for their kids’ missteps and do little to educate them on how to conduct themselves with other human beings – those kids have a shaky foundation, and that is tough. I mean, where would a she-bitch like you be today without a mama who raised you right?

Comment on november by Amy

Amy — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 01:38:49 +0000

Thanks for this post, I couldn’t agree more, with all of it!!

Comment on november by meliselizMelissa

meliselizMelissa — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 01:38:28 +0000

I’m a bit obsessed with all of this right now. Looking forward to a big long talk when we have a visit soon. And, this was timely, because K. came home today and announced that he and a friend (boy) had decided to “tease girls” today. I was HORRIFIED. (yes, we had a big long talk, blah blah blah) But it is still horrifying.

Comment on november by bionicbrooklynite

bionicbrooklynite — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 14:11:00 +0000

this post is like the ghost of christmas yet to come for me. brrrrr….

the BWBB problem is half — more than half — the reason i didn’t want to find out the bean’s sex while pregnant. i had a strong suspicion he was a boy, and the thought of listening to a bunch of crap about boys before he was even BORN was a whole lot more than i could take. (the thought of listening to a bunch of crap about girls wasn’t very pleasant, either, but i felt more able to parry those comments. i felt and feel very vulnerable to accusations that, as a lesbitarian, i cannot comment on what men are or aren’t “really” like.)

your boy — have i said this enough? — your boy is, parent conferences be damned, just dreamy. i really do think the world of what i know of him and especially what i know of your parenting of him.