I like to work
Posted: June 17, 2010 Filed under: Uncategorized 12 Comments »So. Here I am. Day 1 of Summer Break. Yep. Here I am. Living large. Just me, Facebook, some Weight Watchers nachos and Martha Stewart on TV. Woot!
Let me be honest. I have a little bit of dread in me about summer. I hate to be hot. I have a much harder time controlling my urge to eat EVERYTHING when I am home or out with kiddo all day. And, most of all, I like to work.
Last summer was long in some ways. Yes, I am incredibly lucky to get to spend so much time with my kid. There are many, many beautiful and perfect moments during our summers together, times when my heart feels so full it could shatter. There are so many thing I get to experience because I am so "lucky" and have summers off (quotes because, duh, there is no luck there – I CHOSE this career and that was one reason. And also because I get so sick of people saying stupid shit about teachers and summers off. Said it before and I'll say it again – when you work with small children, you need an extended break from them or Bad Things would eventually happen).
But I have had an amazing time at work this year. Yes, there were many frustrations and I cried semi-regularly as a result of people being inept, rude, thoughtless, annoying or infuriating. BUT. But. I did a lot this year. I made it through Peer Review and came out better for it. I feel so, so bonded to my work friends and am grateful every day for the fact that I get to work with them. I pushed some big ideas this year and got results, including flexibly scheduled library for two grades and completely collaborative teaching with homeroom teachers for next year. I made presentations and proposals and sent dozens of inspirational articles to colleagues. I worked my butt off this year (see: nonexistent blog). And, for the most part, it turned out to be super duper worth it. Near the end of the year, the head of school asked employees to send him an email describing the work of someone we had noticed doing something wonderful this year. On the last day, he read snippets of the emails, anonymously. Then he read the names of the people the snippets had honored and I was in there. And I got some cash money out of the deal. It is pretty much the first time in my career that I have been recognized on any sort of administrative level in any sort of substantial way. 12 years in, that feels amazing.
And now. Summer. I get to potty train my son.
I have always been blatantly honest with you, blog people, even when my position is childish or selfish or silly. And so I am honest now:
Staying home with my kid is boring.
I have another post in me somewhere about how I think everyone who can possibly find work should be working, how infuriating I find the state of our country and its lack of subsidized childcare for families, how very, very serious Wes and I are about wanting to move to Sweden, and about how truly, truly screwed up I believe some kids to be because their previously hardcore working moms have stayed home decades too long. That one is sure to offend, though. I shall have to work up to it.
Work up to it! I, for one, am interested to hear what you have to say.
I’m home full time, and with another baby due this fall, probably will be for a few more years. I actually enjoy being home, for the most part. For us, we feel like it keeps the overall stress level way down – I’ve taken over most of the household management, we’re not scrambling to make it to child care pick-up on time, we don’t have to cram all of our errands into the weekend. That said, I will not be home forever, and definitely want to go back to work in a few years. But my ideas about work have definitely changed – I’m currently looking into getting (another) master’s degree so I can work in the school system and have a schedule more compatible with my kids’. I didn’t love what I was doing before, and it’s important to me to keep the family (particularly my own!) stress level down. I do wonder how both of those decisions would be affected by a more cohesive, high quality system of child care …
And I do agree with you about the hazards of moms staying home “decades too long.” I think my mom fell into that category, and I think it resulted in her being less happy and less fulfilled (and, ironically, negatively affected her parenting) than she otherwise might have been.
You’re a brave writer. I haven’t brought myself to type, “Staying home with my kid is boring,” but it rings true. The longest I’ve ever been home was for maternity leave. That time was delicious and wonderful, AND I enjoyed returning to work.
I can totally see how a long stretch would be boring for me because I live in a small town with NOTHING to do. I am curious as to why it is boring for you considering where you live. I fantasize about being in a big city with my child with all of the many things to do and explore.
This is a good question. I have a whole post worth of excuses in response. It has to do with A) lingering agoraphobic anxiety B) fibromyalgia C) home repair/lame contractors D) no money and E) potty training. BUT yes. We do lots of things and we do have adventures and this is a good reminder/push to try to seek out new stuff.
oh please work up to the post about mothers who are home too long! i’ve been at home since my oldest was born (she’s seven now and i have a 5 year old and 3 year old) and i’ve started going back to nursing school full time and will start working full time in four years. i feel quite a bit of guilt about leaving them, but i am SO SO SO SO (SOOOOOOOOOOOOO) tired and bored of being at home. I have no patience and NO desire to be a good at home mom anymore…and yet, there is this GUILT telling me i should be grateful. But i’m not grateful. I’m booooooored (said very whiny…heh). So please tell me why I should go back to work!!!
My mom has agoraphobia so I get it. And sometimes it is so much work to get out the door and toddler wrangling that staying at home feels like a much better option, especially solo. I am just getting up the strength to push through and I am learning that even the smallest of excursions (like an errand) can break up the day nicely (on half-days, closures, holidays, etc.).
do it. Maybe the comments will rival the great cloth diaper debate of 2008.
I agree with most of what you say. Except I don’t want to move to Sweden. Maybe Canada though.
1. Move to Canada. That way no passport, socialized medicine and let’s face it Montreal/QC could pass for France in a pinch!
2. Potty training – the key is portable potty seat. I’d recommend Potette which is what we carry. They can pee into a plastic bag if need be. Oh and my husband has some fancy smancy potty locator app. And it’s 3 days of sticking close to home and then you’re off and running!
3. Yes staying home is utterly boring, mind numbingly dull. Love my girls but holy hell my soul feels like nothing some days. Thank god for the gym and preschool/summer camp. At least that gets me down to 1 kid for the day. As soon as we know where we’re going to live (Please, oh Please let it be NYC) I’m back to work. Brain rot is bad! I don’t want my old job back but just something part time or something I can do that isn’t stressy. I’m thinking low level secretary/answer phones. Yup, two degrees and I want to answer phones after being home with my girls for 3 1/2 years.
Yes yes yes, please work up to the post. I’d love to read that. I think going back to work (when my son was 6 months) was the best thing that happened to me as a mother and daycare was the best thing that happened to my son! I wish there were more affordable, quality daycare options around for working parents.
Yes. Write that post. It is only because I do not have your enviable cajones that I have not written it myself.
I’m interested in your view on staying home too long. I’m staying home with my kids till they are in school but I do work at night and weekends. It helps my sanity.