things you might want to know if you are meeting me in person (including my name)
Posted: July 20, 2009 Filed under: Uncategorized 48 Comments »First, let me say that I don’t know what you need to know about me so maybe those who know me in real life can chime in with some information about what I am like. That would amuse me greatly, if nothing else.
SO. Here we go – things you might like to know about me if you are meeting me this week:
I know hobbit was a buzzword of last year’s BlogHer because The Bloggess threw it around in regards to Dooce and Dooce threw it back and it was Drama! Filled! (yeah, I know I wasn't there but I grossly lapped up every bit of BlogHer drama through posts all over the place, thanks. I only a feel a little dirty.) But this year, be ready people. I am the real deal. I AM A HOBBIT. I am short as can be. I eat at least two breakfasts a day. And most importantly, I can show you my hairy toes if you don’t believe me.
I am somewhat inept at being a girl. I ALWAYS miss spots when I shave (see hairy toes, above). I don’t shave past the knees because I break out in rashes so let’s hope I don’t have any more Marilyn Monroe moments. I am lame at eyebrow maintenance. I find Spanx philosophically objectionable and damned uncomfortable and I won’t wear them so I am often lumpy. Ever since I had Beck, my neck is perpetually broken out and I didn’t see the dermatologist in time to really help for the conference. I almost never wear make-up but I probably will at BlogHer. I can’t do anything with my hair because it is someone else’s hair since I had the Beck, an enigma to me. I dress quite presentably but don’t actually have much style. Or, more accurately, I have the style of a 55 year old librarian. Minus the appliqué.
I believe things should cost what I want them to cost, which, according to Wes, is roughly the price of goods circa 1957. I don’t like to pay more than $20 for pretty much anything. When forced to confront the prices of things like sofas or toddler shoes, my head sort of spins around and smoke emanates from my ears. It takes me at least six months of searching before I accept that things cost what they cost. I cannot be called thrifty or frugal, though, because I am physically incapable of saving money. The one exception to my time warp financial brain is electronics. I had no problem dropping $200 on my iPhone. This has nothing to do with BlogHer. Except that the iPhone will be there. I plan to Bump people with it (fyi, that's an app that allows you to swap contact info with another iPhone user – I will not be doing violence upon anyone with my electronics, fear not).
I am not that great at small talk. I want to know all your dirty details right up front.
I have no control over my facial expressions. Which means I often sit in work meetings giving my boss the evil eye. According to Wes, my default facial expression is a cranky frown. So if I look like I am not interested in meeting you, forgive me. It is just my face. I can’t help it. I am sure you are lovely.
I am nervous. I am trying not to be. But I am.
My name…
(I feel like there should be trumpets blaring here to proclaim an important announcement… this is the official end to my first name anonymity here on unwellness… whoa)
is Briar.
I have been Bri online for many years now so I will answer to it. But only if you say it right. Many people meeting me for the first time say, “Bree,” which isn’t right. Bri is short for Briar, so pronounced “BRY.” I will wince if you call me Bree. I should probably just start converting the Internets on over to calling me Briar now that I am out of the closet. Because while I answer to Bri, I regret using it online. Until I did, the only people who used it were my parents and my closest friends and I regret that I lost that special name my mom called me.
NO, it’s NOT from Sleeping Beauty/Briar Rose fairy tale girliness. My mother named me when she was 16, twelve years before I was actually born. She found my name in a smutty romance novel. This is much more appropriate than a fairy tale, given my nature.
I have been blogging for-fricking-ever. I started in 2002. I had about five readers for the first few years. And then I went crazy. And then I got fibromyalgia. And then I was infertile and then I had a miscarriage and then I had a baby. It was those last three that gained me the biggest readership. My stats are still infintesimal compared to the other BlogHer speakers, but they are a whole lot bigger than where I started.
I don’t check my stats often. No, really. Maybe once a month if I remember. My numbers have stayed roughly the same for about 3 years now. I am not sure how worried I am about ever seeing them climb. I'll tell you after BlogHer.
I find blogging while parenting to be a challenge, time-wise and fatigue-wise. I don’t love the term mommyblogger. I feel about it much as I do about my mongo, giant, SUV of a stroller in a neighborhood filled with them: it's unwieldy and not perfect but I lived with them around me for so many years while trying to become a mom that I claim them like a mommy birthright. I get to drive a giant stroller. I get to call myself mommyblogger sometimes.
If I drink too much wine, I cry. Recent clinical trials suggest that three is my limit.
I limp, trip and stumble when I am really tired. It's the fibromyalgia. Or the wine.
More juicy details are on my About page so please read it (and tell me how to make it stop cutting off my header). Many of my mommy opinions are documented for your convenience in my recent post, The Unwellness Platform.
It is my birthday today. I was born at precisely noon.
For the first time, possibly in my life, I am doing nothing to celebrate my birthday – we couldn't get Beck into the childcare center at Wes' work so I didn't get my big wish for a day off. I am extremely disappointed about this but I am trying to be a grown-up about it. Wes would probably say I am failing at that. Ahem.
As a birthday gift to me, would you comment/delurk? Be sure to link your blog if you have one and be sure to tell me if you are going to BlogHer. And if you know me in real life, share a non-mortifying detail about me that would benefit a new acquaintance.
Hi, I think I’m the first one to comment. I don’t know you so I can’t tell any stories. I am very new to blogging so I will not be going to BlogHer although it sounds quite fun. Sorry this is a really boring comment.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
happy birthday, briar!
i dont know you in person, but i had a dream about you once, that i rode the train to come visit you in new york, and you gave me a tour of your house-in-progress (wes pointed out all the coolest fixtures). i got there late, so Beck was asleep but you insisted on sneaking me in the room to see him curled up in his crib.
hope you have a wonderful day and that you get extra hugs and smooches from the beck
i am going to work hard to call you briar now
I don’t know what to say about you. I find your writing persona to be a bit snarkier than you are face-to-face. You are actually pretty nice. And while you do thirst for the details of others’ lives, I think that once you get to know someone you will share yours too- it’s not like you’re a leech about it. Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, and now you have forced me to drop by with a cake and oodles birthday glee. After I go to parking ticket court. Damn it.
Happy birthday! I’m not going to BlogHer as I don’t blog. Wanted to say that I started reading you because I was looking for blogging librarians.
Happy Birthday!!
I lurk here, alot.
I am not going to blogher. But i do blog.
happy birthday! i have commented once or twice before but i read you all the time. i can’t remember now how i found your blog but it was when you were pregnant. i have been saying “bree” in my head for so long now that “bry” is a real adjustment.
i love the way you write. and i hope you have a great time at blogher! sorry you didn’t get a day off today.
Happy Birthday! I’ve been reading you for a long time and I’m not sure if I’ve ever commented.
like elisabeth, i am unsure of whether or not i’m actually delurking.
if i am, surprise!
if i am not, hi! it’s me again!
Happy Birthday! I found you through either FF or someone I found on FF who linked to you. Probably the second one. I have a 4 year old and then had some secondary infertility, a miscarriage after you had one, and I also got pregnant after you, my “baby” boy is 17 months now. Reading your blog was comforting and helpful, and of course kept me hopeful that I’d have a sibling someday for my little boy. When I started reading your blog I lived in London, I was a teacher abroad for many many years. Now we live in New Jersey. I’m not a blogger, but have fun at the conference!
I don’t fall into the de-lurking category, nor do I actually KNOW you in real life, but I am commenting anyway, so there.
I am insanely jealous that you are going to BlogHer and I am not.
I love this post; it makes me want to actually know you in real life (but please don’t show me your hairy toes).
Happy Birthday!
Happy birthday, fellow Cancerian! I cry too, maybe it’s our sign (not that I’m a big astrology flake or anything) or maybe it IS the wine… days off are lovely and rare. On my last one, I got a massage. Here’s hoping you get your day off soon!
De-lurking to say Happy Birthday! I’m a fellow Cancerian too! My birthday was yesterday. I don’t blog, I just lurk and read. I love your blog and always save it for last in my reader so that I can really pay attention to what you’re saying!
happy birthday! I mostly lurk, but have commented a few times before. have a fabulous time at blogher — I almost went last year, but it overlapped with netroots. and this year I’m about to have my second baby, so…
)
(btw, I blog for work under my real name, though I don’t consider myself a “blogger”, and I also talk to bloggers for my job. however, I read your blog for fun, not work.
Happiest of happy birthdays!
I’ve been lurking here for a long time… and while I don’t know you irl I have imagined running into you somewhere around this fabulous city of ours. My missus and I are non-meeting-attending Quakers and awaiting our own little one (after 4 years of trying) and I think you and I might get along should we meet. But of course I don’t manage to actually write much recently on my blog and have this thing about meeting bloggers (never done it and a bit freaked out by it) and that’s my story for your birthday.
Happy birthday, Briar! I feel like I semi-know you in real life because I haven’t actually seen you in person in years, but I love your blog.
The only important details I know about you are old, musty, college details, but here goes: Briar and I got in trouble for passing notes in class…in our senior year of college!
I imagine that one day you will get in trouble for giggling and passing notes at a PTA meeting. Perhaps at a BlogHer seminar?
Happy Birthday. Not going to BlogHer, but I’ve been reading you for a few years now. Our sons are around the same age.
ALl best,
Lyrehca
Managing the Sweetness Within
I think I may have commented before, but to be on the safe side, hello! I am not going to BlogHer, but I do have a tiny little blog that like three people read. Feel free to stop by if you want!
Happy Birthday.
I’ve been reading your blog for several years and I’m a sometimes commenter. I also want to know everything about everyone as soon as I meet them, but I overshare about myself.
I do have a (slightly ranty, recently neglected, with about 2 readers) blog, but I never go anywhere that isn’t absolutely necessary, so BlogHer isn’t on my agenda. Maybe when I’m no longer a broke college student.
happy birthday, Briar!! I LOVE that you gave the internets your real name. I also happen to think that you are not so very snarky in person. you are, in fact, very kind and sweet.(but you do have a wicked snark face when you want to)
I am jealous as hell to be missing out on blogher.
Happy birthday!
I’m glad you cleared up the Bree vs. Bry. Got it now.
Not going to BlogHer. My parents are my biggest blog fans. I have two because apparently I am that self-absorbed.
Happy Birthday! And I’ll meet you later this week, I hope.
Ha! I knew your name because I am speshul. Happy Birthday, love. Did I email you my digits?
…no, not my FINGERS, silly.
happy birthday! not going to blogher. i’m kind of surprised that everyone didn’t think your name was as obvious as i did. the first time i saw “bri” i assumed short for briar. i love your name btw… good luck at blogher, i’m sure you’ll have a blast!
Happy birthday, Bri!
I am not sure I know anything about you that you haven’t shared already, cause really I know don’t you all that well. I think, however, that you and I have a bit in-common in that we both have somewhat unpleasant default facial expressions and therefore people think we are cranky, or snobby, or bitchy, or intimidating, or something like that. Maybe it’s this darn cancer/leo cusp? My bday is Wed, so I am cuspier than you.
I haven’t updated my blog in FOREVER, because of my pesky dissertation.
Happy Birthday Briar!
Happy Birthday! Delurking as a gift to you (I may have delurked a time or 2 before but it has been AGES!) My son, Diego and Beck are almost the same age and suffered thrush as infants at exactly the same time – this is how my husband stumbled across your blog via a random Google search – and I have been reading ever since. We are very intermittent bloggers (pathetic, really) but always hoping for more time to write. Anyway, hope today is perfect!
Hi Briar,
Happy Birthday! Somehow, I already knew your full first name so you must have put it somewhere else in the archives– I promise I’ve not been stalking to such an unseemly extent that I have found you out in any other way. Hope your day is as special as can be under the circumstances and that you get an IOU for a true day off some time in the near future.
Warm regards
May
If Briar wants to be your friend, she will pursue you and make it happen. That is my tidbit about Briar.
I think I’ve commented once or twice, but I’m not sure. So I may be delurking again.
Happy Birthday!
And you are the first person with whom I can share one of the most exciting things I learned all summer: Above-the-knee razor burn is preventable!
I have incredibly sensitive skin and used to deal with it by shaving, knee-up, with an electric razor (on special occasions only). But now, after I shave, I apply cortisone cream prophylacticaly. It works! No razor burn appears. I cannot vouch for its effectiveness in the super-sensitive zones (haven’t tried that yet) but totally works for any area you might catch a glimpse of in a shortish skirt.
Good luck at BlogHer!
Hello. I am not going to blogher, but I know people who are. I have delurked before… but I think that was 3 or 4 years ago… so you probably don’t know I still blog. Have a great bday and a great time at blogher.
Hello. I am not going to blogher, but I know people who are. I have delurked before… but I think that was 3 or 4 years ago… so you probably don’t know I still blog. Have a great bday and a great time at blogher.
What people should know about you:
1. You are not as snarky as you like to think you are.
2. You worry about anything and everything, and although it can be exhausting to live with, it makes you a very sensitive and caring person.
3. You can eat an insane amount of sweets but your eyes are still always bigger than your stomach.
4. You like to stay up later than is good for you.
5. You make amazing vegan pizza.
6. You’re incredibly silly and funny.
Happy birthday. I wish I could give you a day off. Alas, all I have to offer is a comment from someone who comments all the time anyway.
For those of you who have yet to meet her, Briar is very easy to talk to. I like her, but I can’t pinpoint why. Only that maybe I’m the exact amount of pollyanna that she is crank, so there is a yin yang thing happening.
You have one more hour of birthday, and then it is my turn. Live it up.
Wow, you are a Bri and not a Bree. I am officially freaked out after all these years of reading your blog. Briar is one of those perfect sounding names to me, much like Beckett Ace!! My poor husband gets sick of me talking (still) about how it is the best baby name I have ever seen on all the millions of baby blogs I read.
Have fun at your Blogher and meet lots of cool people.
happy late-birthday!
i sometimes-blog, not going to blogher. i read you because i like to hear about adventures with knee-high people (started reading soon after beck was born). i read a lot of “mommyblogs” though i also don’t like the term – i’m a nanny and the “nannyblogs” i’ve found have mostly been complain-logs – not great at all. i write at http://callyourcourage.wordpress.com
thanks for writing and have a great time at blogher – i can’t wait to read about it!
I am a reader and I think I’ve commented once or twice. I enjoy reading about raising one in the city – having moved from NYC to the country of MA. I miss it. Have fun on your trip.
Oh I am a day late. I blame yesterdays beach excursion (all by myself with the girls….yes I want a pat on the back).
Happy birthday! Can you tell us what was in the boxes delivered when I was there?
My first memory of you: At the Center in the Village at the Bitter Infertile Support group. You me and S. sitting around a table in a conference room with most likely inappropriate art work. You were at the head of the table. You started talking and at first you seemed to be censoring yourself for like three seconds then it was almost like you flipped a Fuck It switch and just started in on this honest speech about who you were, etc. I remember thinking I LOVE her honesty!
Happy birthday Briar. I LOVE your name. In my mind’s picture of you, I think it actually suits you more than Bri. I am a very regular reader of your blog but only occasionally comment. Yours is one of my 3 favourites ever. and not going to BlogHer, I live in Australia, so it’s not so convenient just now. but maybe oneday.
Happy Birthday BRY!
I have been reading for about 5 years and NEVER commented – it seems almost scary to me.
Just want you to know I am reading and follow you daily.
Your friend in Canada,
I’ve been out of town and largely offline but happy happy happy, briar…. catching up on unwellness is a treat of coming home…
Oh my dearest, happy birthday, first and foremost. I am so excited to meet you this week. And I have your panel circled on my schedule. So 10:30 on Friday it is
Hi there,
Happy Birthday to a fellow Mom of a little red headed boy. But that’s not the only reason I read you…I have been reading forever. Just recently had a baby and am using that as a reason as to why I don’t comment more.
Have a fabulous time at blogger and hope you had a great birthday!
Happy Birthday!
Delurking. I’m really bad at commenting. I read in Google Reader on my Blackberry and am too impatient to comment.
Happy birthday and de-lurking a little bit late.
I found your blog a few years ago through Arcane Matters. I was pregnant at the same time as you both (my son was born june 9 07) and devouring pregnancy related blogs. I’ve kept reading both. I just love your writing and I think that you are really funny and your kid is freakin ADORABLE.
I love the name Briar. My best friend growing up also got her name (Rima) out of a smutty romance novel.
I have a cranky face, too. (Not on photos; I grin like an idiot in photos.) People often think I am mad at them and I’m not.
I am not going to Blog Her; my blog is way too small-time (I have like 6 readers and 4 are family members), plus conference type things make introverted little me nervous beyond belief. But I hope you have a fabulous time!
Oh, and I suck at commenting, because whenever I write a comment it turns into a short story. Ahem.
I just came across your blog today….happy birthday to you! I like your socially awkward style. Im hooked.
Have a great time at Blogher
If you are a friend of Calli’s you must be the shit and I look forward to meeting you!
Happy Birthday! What a beautiful name.
I am finally getting caught up on the blogs I read I just saw this. Happy Belated Birthday to you! I don’t know how long I’ve been reading your blog, but I love the way you write about your life. I think I’ve commented before, but anyway Hi!
Hope you have a blast at BlogHer. Can’t wait to read all about it.