bullets (much like the ones that keep striking my heart)
Posted: August 28, 2008 Filed under: Uncategorized 16 Comments »* Can someone tell me the deal with one year olds and milk need? He can’t do cow’s milk. He won’t drink breastmilk from a cup. He finally took 1-2 oz of soy milk in a sippy yesterday but that was the most he has ever taken. He drinks water all day. He nurses in the morning, at 4ish and before bed. Is this enough? Is there something he is missing nutritionally? Do I need to consider other methods like (gasp) a bottle? He has had roughly 5 bottles his whole life and none were well-received. It’s been at least six months since we tried one. Will he be OK without much milk at all? He eats soy cheese and tofu and other proteins. What do we need to think about here? And yes, I have an appointment with a doctor who specializes in diet and who I am sure will help, but it’s not for 10 days.
* I keep feeling guilty for complaining about leaving Beck because I know that a very large percentage of my readers and dear friends had to return to work after 3 months. I hope I don’t sound ungrateful. It was such a gift to have that year. Well, an expensive and financially ridiculous gift. Anyway. A gift. A joy. I am grateful. And greedy.
* I need to find a place in this building where I can go and get talked down when I get like I am right this second. That is, I don’t even feel like really crying but tears keep running down my cheeks. A good 2/3 of my brain is perfectly fine and looking at my to do list and planning the rest of the day’s work. The other 1/3 seems to control my tear ducts. This feels insanely hormonal and bizarre. My insides are all churning and gross. And I have had a headache for 3 days. WITHDRAWAL – that is what it is like. Like quitting smoking.
I ended up adding Carnation Instant breakfast to Alex’s cow’s milk bottles, which is not only full of vitamins, it has a nice chocolate flavor to it. I don’t know. My big son Ben was a terrible eater, even at this age, and he turned out fine, so I wouldn’t worry terribly if you can help it. Or worry, but let your friend Becky talk you down. I remember all of these things vividly.
I would keep on with the soy milk, even if it’s only a little, until you see the doctor and other than that not worry about his lack of milk or protein for the 10 days between now and then. Probably give soy milk that is fortified for now. That’s my 2 cents.
And withdrawal is a good word to describe this process.
i totally understand this problem. my partner went back to work at 1yr (ooh canada with our 1yr mat leave) and then i (non-bio mom) took the second year off (unpaid, yet job security). my son wouldn’t ever take a bottle. he eventually learned sippy cups but mainly got breast milk from cup and straws. he was quite small so we were always worried about getting enough but he was fine. the doctors assured us that he wouldn’t starve himself. as vegetarians, we relied a lot on dairy, soy, and beans. this kid loves edamame, tofu, broccoli, corn and peas. good luck!
Hm, yeah, I’ve got nothing with regard to the milk thing. The boy had a bottle strike right before we started solids (making True’s days with him utterly miserable). He decreased his milk intake (and at the time, his ONLY intake) considerably. From something like 32 oz. to 18 oz. during the day. I would hazard a guess that Beck is probably getting all he needs; I wouldn’t be too concerned between now & when you have your doctor’s appointment.
The idea of going back to work full time feels like a punch in the gut; I think you’re holding up quite well. Greedy? Who wouldn’t be? I would guess (yes, I’m throwing around guesses all wily-nily) that in time that 1/3 of your brain that’s controlling the tear ducts will adjust. Until then, I hope that you’re able to find a way to vent and then come back from the ledge. Hang in there.
My almost-2-yr-old has some pain-in-the-ass issues with dairy and, as such, has done her time with both soy milk and rice milk. I’m no expert, but one thing that “real” milk is good for is fat, so we just try to make sure our daughter gets plenty of good fat from other sources: avacados, olive oil, etc. We also make sure that whatever faux-milk we’re using is fortified with vitamins.
i was curious to read the answers to the milk question because we don’t drink cow milk and i am in a dilemma about what we’ll do when Mr. E stops breastfeeding. we’ve thought about goats milk – it’s supposed to be more like breast milk than cow milk. further complicating it is that he seems to have dairy / soy allergies. i think we’ll do our best to meet the nutrients found in cow milk through other foods.
Malka gave up milk on her own around 14 months or so – it’s just the calcium that they need. We were so wigged out about it, but she loves cheese, yogurt, and the like, just NOT milk. We give her watered-down calcium fortefied OJ in the morning, instead of milk, and she’s FINE. just FINE.
I think that he’s probably getting enough milk with the amt he’s nursing. Not sure about how this will fly with his sensitivities, but what about goat milk? Mine will take that from a cup, although not happily. I agree with the others, though, if you think about ways to get him fat, calcium, and maybe vit D, it really doesn’t matter if it is in milk/liquid form. Also, does B do straws? I’m pretty sure my kid would consume liquid anything via a straw.
And ps, I’ve also had a year, and I’m going back now to about half or 60% ish of what you are doing. But I’m doing just as much, maybe more, complaining and crying and almost crying.
Like the others have said, at this point he doesn’t need that much milk as he’s getting most of his nutrients from food now. My ped recommended 12-16 oz per day and it sounds like the amount he’s nursing would cover it. He can get all the vitamins and fat that he would have gotten from milk from other sources so I wouldn’t worry at all at this point.
Withdrawl is a good comparison. It will get easier. Not better, but easier.
We’re all greedy when it comes to our babies. I was downright curmudgeonly yesterday on Jo’s first day back at day care. He goes to a wonderful day care at Lo’s school. I am so freaking lucky. But still… I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I want him. I want him. I want him. And I am jealous of everyone who can stay home with their baby, and want to smack a friend of mine for whining about how hard it is to do so. I know it’s hard. But it’s hard to be a working mom, too. Working moms don’t get days off, either. They work 24/7 just like her. My friend ticks me off especially because she doesn’t own her privilege. I appreciate the fact that you acknowledge that some parents have to go back to work after 3 months and that you got a wonderful gift, but still want more. I get it. It’s just hard hard hard.
The need for money sucks. I am going to play the lottery every day Jo is in day care. Who knows? Maybe I’ll get lucky.
1. If he is gaining weight and thriving, don’t worry about the milk. You can always give him a multivitamin drop if it makes you feel better.
2. Don’t worry about complaining. a. it is hard. b. i think what you are doing is harder than going back at 3 months. c. a few weeks ago you were worried that we would be upset that you were too blissful! it all goes in cycles…
Others have already said it but I will repeat. Not long after my son weaned, he refused to drink any kind of milk — cow’s milk, soy milk, milk with chocolate syrup, milk with strawberry syrup — nothing. We tried different cups (and obviously different additives to the milk) and he just wouldn’t drink it. It is the calcium he needs so we just beefed up the cheese and yogurt and started giving him the OJ and apple juice with added calcium. Mysteriously, he has started asking for cow’s milk for the past month.
I think the milk thing is about vitamin D and calcium and protein. I would not do bottles. Cake wouldn’t drink milk from a cup either. We thought he was allergic to cow’s milk, so we gave him fortified soy for a while. Then our doctor suggested we try cow’s milk again and he was fine. But he still refused to drink it from a cup, so we made “smoothies” which he called, ironically, “boobies” out of one part stonyfield farm smoothie and three parts cow’s milk. He still loves him some “boobie.”
Oh, you know what? It think the fat is also important for brain development. But if he eats cheese and yogurt, that’s fine, right? Try that scrumptious full-fat Liberte Mediterranian stuff. But don’t try it yourself… it is too delicious.
I have never believed Henry was getting enough nutrients from the moment he stopped his breastmilk/formula combo. And he’s still not big into milk. My pediatrician said as long as he gets calcium from other sources, he’s OK. He hasn’t stopped growing yet, so I take it as a good sign.
Hey, you’re really my hero for all you’re going through going back to work. At some point I will have to ditch these kiddies, if only to afford a house big enough for us all, and I will review these posts as I sob at work.
Is there a little-used storage room for emotional turmoil breaks? I used to peruse the professional audio literature in the basement at my last job when I thought I might start kicking my cube walls. People thought I was very well informed about our technology.