three things, one unspeakably gross
Posted: November 10, 2007 Filed under: Uncategorized 13 Comments »1.
Thursday night. Middle of the damn night. 4 am or something.
Wes is trying to wake me up, telling me that the baby is hungry and needs to eat. The baby is fussing/crying/wailing next to me in the box thing between our pillows. Each time Wes says, "Bri, wake up, you need to feed the baby," I respond, mumbling, "Feed him." Wes gets increasingly frustrated. This goes on for 20 minutes of me responding something like, "Feed him." And Wes saying, "Do I actually have to pick him up and give him to you? He’s right next to you." And me saying, "Feeding him."
Yes, I was dreaming that I was feeding the baby. And I could have sworn it was real. And I couldn’t figure out why Wes couldn’t see it.
2.
In my post about singing strange songs to Beck, a commenter named Erin told us about the kitty cat dance on youtube. It is the oddest and most bizarrely addictive bit of media we have come across in some time. We are now watching it multiple times daily and singing it constantly.
3.
This morning I had Beck on my lap and Wes standing next to me as we watched aforementioned kitty cat dance for the umpteenth time. Beck was pooping audibly. There was a particularly loud bit from him, and I said, "I swear it feels like that one went directly on me." And Wes said, "Isn’t it crazy how sometimes it feels like that when he’s on your lap?" And then I put my hand under to check and then I said, "Yes, because it did go directly on me." I removed my hand to see it covered in poop. "Ohhhhh," we said, and started to laugh. Then I started to lift Beck to hand him off to Wes and we saw that my jeans were covered, "OOhhhhhhhh," we said, and started cracking up. Then I started to stand up and we saw that there was a giant puddle of poo in the desk chair. "Oooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh," we said and laughed until we cried.
I was in the bathtub naked from the waist down trying to scrub my jeans. Wes was in Beck’s room changing him. We could both see, and yet neither of us could move, as Lexie the dog… cleaned up the poo on the desk chair.
Once we were in an ice-cream shop and K. pooped all over himself and my jeans and the chair and somehow the table and even Derek.
Your story is better though, because of Lexie.
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew.
Ick! I feel pale inside reading that through my giggles. I’ve just told my dog what Lexie did and he kind of shrugged in a “what’s your point” kind of way. Animals!
ewwwwwwwww!!!!!
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!
EW!
ohmygod. i am trying so hard not to laugh as hard as i want to with my bum back and all…
thank goodness babies are CUTE eh?
It’s clear Lexie has a promising future in childcare. That kitty cat dance video… hilarious. Thank you.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Just when you think the gross part is the poop itself….
UH UH!! no way. you werent kidding were you? the extent of the nastiness WILDLY exceeded my expectations. i liked the progression of ohhhh’s as you discovered the poop. i laughed out loud.
That’s rich.
Aren’t pets awesome?!?! So helpful.
One day I’ll tell an even better story from my own childhood involving my potty-training brother and the family dog.
That is the #1 best thing about having animals. They clean up stuff you’d never expect them to!
Dogs are the best!
I know that it happens in my house & I am fine with it- as long as I don’t have to SEE it.
cats, I’m a kitty cat, and I dance, dance, dance, and I dance, dance, dance!
LURVE it.
Yeah, we say you aren’t really “initiated” until your kid poops on you.
And um, thank goodness dogs eat poo. Who needs a cleaning lady?
Remember Tevye? And Clyde? One of the best things about Tevye was he used to clean up Clyde’s puke for us. Saved a lot of trouble.
I love the kitty cat dance. Speaking of singing strange songs, I’m sure you’ve realized that you can change the song to ‘I’m a baby boy, I’m a baby boy, and I dance dance dance…’ Etc. With arm movements and bouncing. Ender loves it.
Does Beck make a hilarious pooping face?