dragging
Posted: July 6, 2006 Filed under: Uncategorized 3 Comments »I seem to have a pretty major case of post-vacation depression here. Really, it seems we both have it. GMB is happy to be out of the SF cold summer (he, unlike us, enjoys warmer beach-going) but Wes and I are slumping around grumpy.
I had my ultrasound this morning, but it’s only CD 10 and nothing much was going on. She didn’t even tell me my numbers. She’s not in tomorrow, which is why I had a CD10 ultrasound, and this means that I have to rely on godforsaken ovulation tests all weekend, making myself crazy the way I did in the old days. This was supposed to be the perk of Clomid – the constant monitoring – but when my cycle times out to weekend it is all for naught.
I feel tremendously negative. I have maybe a tiny spark of hope somewhere deeeeeeeeep down that maybe this try or the next (final?) one will work. But it seems awfully down to the wire here. I have tried every pep talk possible to no avail. I just don’t believe that I will ever be pregnant.
Fortunately(?), I am the antithesis of new age cognitive behavioral mind body crap, so I will not be wasting my time with any pregnancy visualization hoo-ha or chanting to any moon goddesses or anything else. For better or for worse, that stuff just doesn’t work for me.
But I have found myself pondering acupuncture. Which can only be a bad sign – means that all those well-meaning asswipes who told me that I had to try it apparently lodged themselves in my brain and their assvice is seeping out when I can least afford it (feeding a 15 year old is expensive work – we have no extra money all. summer. long.).
Sometimes it just seems like everything is aligning to remind me of it, you know? Even the fricking dentist… I haven’t been in a year, and last time I was there I didn’t have the x-rays because I was in a 2 Week Wait. And obviously I therefore told them that I wasn’t having x-rays because I *might* be pregnant. Which means that my fabulous dentist asked right off the bat, after reading his notes, about the whole pregnancy thing. Which meant I had to say, "Nope. Not pregnant. Still trying."
Bleh.
Add to this the fact that all possible forays into house-buying and renovation seem to be at a total standstill…
and that my in-laws are in town…
and that I have to work again next week…
and we get
me
puddle of bleh.
Sorry you’re feeling so bleh. Wish I could help. Hey, I seriously just had a vision flash through my mind of a plate of chicken and waffles with a glowing light around it. I’ve never had chicken and waffles, but I’ve heard other people talk about its healing powers as an ultimate comfort food. I think it is a sign. Go take thy self and perhaps thy sister and get chicken and waffles (or, if you can’t find it, I know you can find a deep-fried twinky), and heal thy mind and body.
Screw accupuncture, it’s all about fried shit. That’s my new age cognitive behavioral mind body crap assvice-o-the-day for you.
Seriously, I don’t know much about accupuncture, just have one friend with endo who tried it. She didn’t get pregnant, but it really made her awful periods become less awful. I’ve thought about trying it too, also because of my endo.
did non fertility accupuncture and liked it but at 90$ a session, 150 first visit and 125 for chinese herbs its out of the question for me right now.
joining you in da funk but you already knew that
aww. So sorry you are feeling negative.
I agree with JB- comfort food is what you need!
Too bad you aren’t still in Cali- there is a place in L.A. called Rosco’s & the exclusively serve fried chicken & waffles.
hope you have a mellow weekend.
xo