interviewee
Posted: May 16, 2006 Filed under: Uncategorized 41 Comments »There’s been this interview meme thing running around my bloggy crowd so I finally bit. J at Cheese and Whine sent these questions my way so it is now my duty to see them answered.
1. What was your FIRST concert experience (I don’t care how embarrasing it is)
My parents were not concert-goers, or perhaps I should say my parents were most definitely NOT the type of parents you see nowadays who bring their kid everywhere they go. In case you can’t tell, I disapprove of this phenomenon. I think every parent needs a break and babysitters are a necessary evil. I, for one, DESPISED every babysitter I ever had and would sit myself down in my mom’s bed with enough snacks to feed a small batallion and me and the TV would spend the night pretending there was no one else home. I must have been the easiest kid to babysit ever. Eventually, mom stopped getting me babysitters at all because we had dogs and they served just about the same purpose as the flaky teenage babysitters she was getting. Sure, the dogs didn’t have the opposable thumbs with which to call the police, but they also didn’t steal our stereo or have phone sex with their boyfriends. Still, I uphold my mother’s right to get away from me (Dad got away, too, but there always seemed to be more relatives around and I don’t remember as many teen sitters at that house – then again, I was babysitting my baby sister by age 10, so maybe I just forgot). My point is that I didn’t go places with my parents except to an occasional family dinner out.
In any case (how tangential of me – can you tell I don’t want to get back to writing my report cards?), my first concert was at age 14. I went with Nic* K**fman to The Cure concert in Oakland. It was the second week of school and he had asked me to "go out" with him or whatever the terminology was back then – I’m too old to remember. It was all very thrilling. I had been something of a social climber pariah in Phoenix, so when I moved to SF I was eager to reinvent myself for high school. Imagine my surprise when my snarly, bitchy, flirty persona was rapidly embraced by not one but two boys within the first week of school! One proceeded to have a crush on me for a couple of years and call me nightly. The other was red-headed Nic* who took me to the Japanese Tea Garden and kissed me without tongue and whose mother had some connection that made it possible for us to get quite wonderful last minute seats to The Cure. And it was amazing. Totally worth dating silly little Nic* for two weeks.
2. As a New Yorker, what is your favorite place to escape to in the zillion degree summer days?
Well, I am happy to say that I no longer have to escape because we have central air in our condo now. But this is a recent development, as we’ve only owned it for two years. The previous eight summers are firmly wedged in my memory, particularly the first one in Brooklyn when I was dating Wes and there was tiny little GMB (age 6) and a walkup apartment on the top, fourth floor of a building in South Slope. The teensy bedrooms had skylights and a view of the World Trade Center and the Statue of Liberty, but heat rises, baby, and we thought we were much too poor for AC. I look back on it and wonder what the hell we were thinking – Wes should have coughed up the money for a window unit. I had an air conditioning unit in my apartment in Tuckahoe and we really should have brought it to Brooklyn, but Wes was having commitment issues that summer and I’m willing to bet money that he thought moving my AC in would mean that I wasn’t far behind, and he was resisting that like the mannish man he is (no offense, men) even though, at the time, he appeared to be a Sle*tor-Kinney-lovin’ dyke. In any case, we were so hot I would cry. We were so hot we would take cold showers in our t-shirts and sleep in them wet. We were so hot that waking up and finding myself next to the sticky body of 6-year-old GMB on the futon in front of the power fan was enough to make me illogically storm out and drive back to Westchester to pout for a couple of days. Oh, the heat and jealousy of that first summer.
After that we were never without AC, but when you are young and live in an NYC rental apartment, you cannot afford to run the AC all day long. Eventually I learned that the library and the B*rnes & N*ble bookstore (any location) were the answers – all of Park Slope seems camped out at B&N on the worst of the summer days – you can barely find a spot on the floor in which to sip your iced coffee and read your crochet books.
3. Do you and Wes do anything naughty when you go to open houses? Do you "peek?"
If you mean do we open things we aren’t supposed to, then no, we don’t usually peek too much. I think this is because we are too busy mentally knocking down walls and arranging our own furniture to get overly nosy. There is also the fact that NYC apartments are TINY and the realtor is rarely more than, oh, ten feet away from you. We do open every door to size up closets. We do whisper mean things about people’s decorating sense and stare in awe at weird furnishings and ugly clothes. We do check out the books on the bookshelves and the photographs on mantles and walls to decide what kind of people live there. We do invent whole scenarios about them and curse their lack of style. But we don’t open their drawers and we only open medicine and kitchen cabinets if there’s some house-ish reason to do so. I think there’s plenty of info to be gathered from books alone. : )
4. Are there any assumptions that people make about your identity? What are they and how do you combat them?
Where to begin!? People assume I am really a lesbian. People assume I am really straight. People assume I was tormented by Wes’ "choice" to transition. People assume I am this incredibly good person who made some big sacrifice to be with Wes after the transition. People assume I will laugh at their gay jokes. People assume I will laugh at their straight jokes. People assume I have seen Brokeback Mountain, TransAmerica, Boys Don’t Cry. People assume that using donor sperm is the same for us as for lesbians. People assume that they understand the complexities of gender identity. People assume that we understand the complexities of gender identity. People assume I know all the most current lingo in the trans community and echo "their" positions. People assume I think socially constructed gender roles are automatically evil and must be destroyed. People assume I am always politically correct. People assume that because Wes is trans, we must be really lefty and liberal. People assume that because we are now a straight couple, we must be overly conservative and square. People assume we will feel comfortable at lesbian bars or events. People assume I go to the Pride parade. People assume that we have scarred GMB. People assume that we are not legally married. People assume that we are assholes for getting married legally. People assume I am political about my identity. People assume that I am confused.
I talk about it. But only with people who aren’t so busy making assumptions that their heads are permanently up their own asses. Those people I leave alone. I won’t get through to them anyway.
And I blog.
5. In your opinion, which movie has the best soundrack???
No question. Until the End of the World.
_________________________
Excellent questions, J. Thanks.
OK. According to the meme, I am now supposed to say that I will write 5 interview questions for the people who comment and state that they want questions. So, fine. OK. But I can’t promise they’ll be brilliant. I’ve already spent more than half an hour escaping report cards. It’s time to get down to business. But I’ll try.
Yes please! Questions please. Now please.
Nicely answered.
I want questions!
Can I answer questions as Mondale?
Mondale -
1. What is with your class the last two weeks?
2. Are you going to move back to England someday? Why or why not?
3. Did you pay listmaker money to stay at our current place of employment next year?
4. If you could choose one British historical figure (living or dead) to take to the pub who would it be and why?
5. Um… what is with your class the last two weeks? Is it me? It’s me, isn’t it?
thank you very much for #4
Questions please:)
Fire away my dear, fire away. Though I doubt there’s things you don’t know already.
I’ll get to work, although I’ll attempt to answer #1 and #5 as one.
ahhhh n*co k
havent seen him in years. we were best best friends for like four years or so.
i never knew he took you to the cure.
i wonder what he is doing now
and two other things:
umm – i witnessed you scarring GMB (think about 12:40 am jan 1 2004)
plus i have never been to a pride parade in my life, just thought you should know
also
am i so busy making assumptions that my head is up my ass?
I’d just like to say that my class are busy having the time of their life. They tolerate me with agreeable disdain and right now they are indulging Charlie Young by pretending to listen to his math lesson. Why the hell do you think I bring them to Library every Thursday afternoon? (btw- is that OK for this week?) It’s so not you.
MsDee-
1. What do you miss most about working?
2. Do you think your daughters have any one quality in common? If so, what is it?
3. Can you name all fifty states in alphabetical order? If so, is it because of the many years spent watching State Day (in which, fyi others, the 2nd grade sings the names of all states in order)?
4. What one television show would you most like to appear on?
5. What is it with Mondale’s class the last two weeks?
Bill-
1. How did you find out about the sex club under Bes* restaurant on 5th Ave?
2. How many mojitos do you think you made in your years working at L*ng Tan?
3. What do you think Lucy the dog is thinking right now?
4. Why do you think you and Wes became such good friends?
5. When are you moving back here?
Oops – I skipped Martha! Sorry, dear.
1. What is the cutest thing about having a cute dog and a cute baby at the same time?
2. What single task do you spend the most time doing at your job with Pl*nn*d P*r*nth**d?
3. What has changed most about your life since Junior Miss Eva was born?
4. You are exiled to a deserted island with the complete DVD’s of one TV show and one TV show only. What is it?
5. Do you think you will always live in a really rural area? Do you miss anything about “city” living?
Weasel – heh. I am amazed to find you still blogging about. Aren’t you getting married in a ridiculously small amount of time? Isn’t there something you should be doing for that?
Z – Ack on the New Year’s Eve scarring of GMB. And for all others – it may seem like a fine idea to take your 13 year old with you to a small new year’s gathering of just close friends. But it isn’t. Even if you mother would have taken you. Perhaps, in fact, that fact that your mother would have taken you should maybe be a red flag that such behaviour is not wise. Ack.
But what I meant was scarred by the transition.
And I wasn’t thinking of you with the head/ass comment, no.
Ok, I’m game.
Lazygal-
1. What differences are there in Brooklyn Meeting and your Meeting up there wherever you are now?
2. What is the most embarrasing television show you have watched with even a little regularity?
3. What is your stock answer when kids ask you what your favorite book is?
4. What would be your dream vacation?
5. What is the last movie you saw in the theatre?
I believe I was party to a similar scarring of GMB, at a different holiday gathering, one that involve Bri saying something about not being able to feel her limbs. Or something.
okay I want to play too. (ask anything)
1. What do you miss most about working?
The kids sooo much,Bri, Listo, Mondale, Mactech, Jamaican queen, Mr. Boss, Learning specialist…..,The faculty Room discussions, The new York Times Crossword Puzzle.Reading Mr. science guys comments on Listo’s board, Stargates whining Not!,Mother os two adorable blondes on third floor!!!
2. Do you think your daughters have any one quality in common? If so, what is it?
Definitely!!!!!
Their sense of humor
3. Can you name all fifty states in alphabetical order? If so, is it because of the many years spent watching State Day (in which, fyi others, the 2nd grade sings the names of all states in order)?
Crap! No!
I kind of Zone out after Arkansas
4. What one television show would you most like to appear on?
The Office, Scrubs and interviewed by Mr. Stewart on the Daily Show
I know you said just one but I couldn’t help it
5. What is it with Mondale’s class the last two weeks?
They’ve been watching the Muppet Show. Muppets are filling their heads with crazy ideas.
It’s not you, it never is
Oh, please, me too!
Melissa-
1. Do you secretly think I am a terrible, shallow person because I would not follow anyone to Dayton no matter how much I loved them?
2. When you eventually buy a house, what do you most want it to have in it or be like?
3. On our first date, Wes thought I was going to be a one-night stand. It was months before he realized this might be it for the long haul. When we met, did you think I was going to be a flirty one-schoolyear stand kind of friend? If so, when did you fall for me and realize it was a forever kind of deal?
4. Have you ever purchased something over $100 just on a whim?
5. Will you write a NaNo novel with me this year?
Jen-
1. The last two July’s have been hugely momentous months for you. What do you have in store this year?
2. What book do you most frequently recommend to students?
3. What was the most difficult obstacle to overcome when learning to cohabitate with Cait?
4. What issue drives you the most crazy when it comes to living in your groovy cooperative housing place?
5. What do you hope Natalie does NOT grow up to be?
And Wes wants some now, naturally -
1. If you could buy just one piece of furniture in the next five years, and it couldn’t cost more than 2 grand, what would it be?
Oh, wait, were these supposed to be hypothetical questions…? Hm.
2. What is the most common response when you tell people you transitioned?
3. Weighing our most current evidence, do you think GMB is gay or straight? How will you feel either way?
4. How many pets would you really have if you were allowed and what species would they all be?
5. What Hollywood blockbuster film annoys you the least?
1. Well, since you are narrowing the cost to under $2,000 I’ll knock out the sofa since that will probably cost a little bit more. So, my answer is— a credenza. But I want to narrow the time frame to 1 year.
2. I guess the most typical response is something like “Really? No way?! Are you serious? I would have never guessed.”
3. I think GMB is straight, just because of statistical evidence. As long as he doesn’t settle down with a mean asshole, I don’t care either way. And I don’t want him to have sex until he’s 30.
4. If I lived in NYC I don’t think I would ever really go past 6 (and no more than three dogs). I think my best combination would be Lexie or a Greyhound, two French bulldogs, a bunny and two Japanese bobtails. Once we have our house in Iceland I’d like two horses, three or four dogs, a kangaroo, two penguins, a monkey and a porcupine.
5. The Lord of the Rings movies and the Harry Potters ones.
oh oh … I am trapped. I hate these things, but I am too intrigued about what my questions would be.
ok – I am in.
Me too! Only if you have time :O)
Aim
um, why not?
Oh, and I’d also like an elephant and a miniature pot belly pig.
1. I would like nothing more than for this July to be utterly non-momentous. I want to hang out and enjoy my wife and my daughter, preferably with some beach time in there (though those plans seem to be disintegrating rapidly). The July after that? We might like a repeat of the last July but let’s not get greedy.
2. Let me start with a digression – when thinking about books, do you mentally walk through your shelves? I do. Hmmm… most recommended? I’d like to say Summerland (Chabot) but the truth is more like the Zack Files series (Greenburg). It’s good for hooking reluctant readers.
3. Food was a challenge. Pairing a recovering anorexic with someone who equates food with love – when they both have a bit of a tendency towards codependence – definitely led to rocky times in the beginning. But we’ve both mellowed and made progress. Sadly, I’d say for the most part I have convinced her to eat more crap – but we can now eat together most of the time without huge drama.
4. The most frustrating thing about living here is when we’re trying to make a decision and one individual stymies the whole process by sticking to his or her agenda — while maintaining that it’s for the greater good! No, *compromise* is for the greater good.
5. Unhappy. Bigoted. Insensitive. Other than that, it’s hard to list things I would not want her to do because I want her to make her own choices and do what is right for her. I really do NOT want to project my desires onto her – I’ve been struggling against my mom’s unfulfilled yearnings for most of my life and do not want to do that to my daughter.
Good heavens! Don’t I feel popular!
GL-
1. We know that one thing you are freakishly structured about is A’s bedtime. Consequently, he is a brilliantly well-rested, happy and adorable child. Are there other things about which you are strict?
2. In college you could often be found in the periodical room at the library. To how many periodicals do you now subscribe?
3. Have I changed since college? How?
4. What is the most important lesson that you learned at fancy boarding school? At SLC? In CA? In St. Louis?
5. You were horrified by my introductory roommate letter to you because I was planning to ship 20 boxes to college. How long did it take before you thought I might be OK?
Aimee-
1. Who found out about sex first – you or me? Which one of us told the other?
2. In Mrs. Lantern’s Kindergarten class we had a mock election for president. For whom did you vote and why?
3. How much of an influence was your mother in your choice of careers? What do you like about nursing?
4. Do you still watch MTV? Are you current on pop culture in other ways or do things slip by you?
5. Do you think you will stay in AZ forever? Where else would you consider living?
Listo-
1. Are you more likely to enjoy a piece of music because of its tune or lyrics? What other aspects do you notice that make you like or dislike something?
2. What other grades have you taught besides third? What other grades would you like to teach and why?
3. Was the first year of marriage noticeably difficult? Did it feel at all different than before?
4. How much money do you spend on music and movies each year?
5. Have you tried Nonfat Fage yogurt yet? Is it not as good after your months of dedication to full fat Fage?
1. It was definately you who found out first. I remember looking at a book at your Mom’s house with you and S*aun* Swa*ne and you guys telling me all about it, much to my horror.
2. I don’t remember who I voted for-remind me who ran and maybe I will remember!
3. My Mom is a medical office manager, not an RN, so she did not have too much to do with it. I think it was more my grandma, but mostly at that point in my life I just wanted to go to school for something really quickly that would guarantee me a job and a decent income. I would have done something else if I could change things, but what can you do? I do like nursing though because I have done so many different things and I am currently in admin and patient education, so I have normal hours, holidays off, etc.
4.I do still watch MTV, how embarrasing. And I know way too much about pop culture via internet, magazines, tv, etc. I need to get a life.
5. We will probably move eventually, yes, my husband wants to also. Where, we are not sure, but we are thinking Colorado or Illinois. We will see!
i like this one even though i don’t have a blog can i play?
-a
Asia-
1. How do you keep from going crazy working on your dissertation and spending so much time in front of a computer in your own home?
2. What would you do with $100,000?
3. If you had a blog, what would it be called?
4. Which do you like better – teaching a class that you get to design or writing a paper for a conference or journal?
5. Where would you not be willing to move for your job?
1. What is with your class the last two weeks?- I don’t know, perhaps the magic is strong in them. I do know that after weeks of confiscating contraband from Child X (let’s call him LooK) he strolled up to my desk this morning and presented me with his toys, just to avaoid any unecessary paperwork later.
2. Are you going to move back to England someday? Why or why not?- We still have property, staff and voting rights in the House. Who knows?
It’s a beautiful island, beautiful beyond words. There is a haunted quality to the place as well as a medieval nastiness that I can totally do without. The pros are hefty, You can drive across it in a day, the cons? You can drive across it in a day. I could go on.
3. Did you pay listmaker money to stay at our current place of employment next year?- Considering the ammount he harped on about money I find this question risible!
4. If you could choose one British historical figure (living or dead) to take to the pub who would it be and why?- Umm, I would have loved to have had a few beers with any number of historical figures, trouble is, most of them are American.
I guess George VI has always fascinated me (King during WW2) and Harold Macmillan would be cool (PM 1957-63) an old school Tory. CS Lewis, Tolkien. Siegfried Sassoon. John Lennon (although I’m pretty certain he would have got on my nerves) I’m sure Weasel with castigate me for the cosy Toriness of my choices but they spring to mind. Many of the more interesting characters in British History are alive right now.
5. Um… what is with your class the last two weeks? Is it me? It’s me, isn’t it?
I refer you to my answer for question 1,
CS Lewis? Tolkein? Are you on one of your religious kicks again, Mr Mondale? No genuflecting at the wedding; the grass is damp.
Bri, in answer to your earlier question, this sort of thing is what I am doing to get ready for my wedding. I’ve cleaned my shoes and ironed my shirt, and we don’t need to do much else until about 8 days from now. If something is not done by now, it probably won’t ever be, so I might as well forget about it.
Isn’t that an annoying attitude to life, or what?
1. Are you more likely to enjoy a piece of music because of its tune or lyrics? What other aspects do you notice that make you like or dislike something?
First music, then lyrics. I can get over bad lyrics if the singer fucking sings it like he/she means it. However, lyrics sometimes are the dealbreaker if I’m on the fence.
2. What other grades have you taught besides third? What other grades would you like to teach and why?
Pre K and 2nd.
I’d like to teach 4th or 5th I think to get into more abstract subject matter and do more things on that front. Ideally, I really think I’d like to teach a history course at a high school or college level but that requires me to go back to school to get a degree in history so that ain’t happening.
3. Was the first year of marriage noticeably difficult? Did it feel at all different than before?
No, not really. You’d have to ask Youthlarge on that one though. It was nice. I’ve heard it was supposed to be tough.
4. How much money do you spend on music and movies each year?
Music – not all that much these days because Youthlarge brings so much stuff home. Movies – I”d guess about $700 a year but this year I’m doing a very good job of cutting back thus far.
5. Have you tried Nonfat Fage yogurt yet? Is it not as good after your months of dedication to full fat Fage?
Not yet but I almost did today. I don’t like how it doesn’t have the honey option! Too plain.
Hee hee. N*co! Either I forgot about that or I never knew. Shocking! What a troubled Beacon he was…
1. How do you keep from going crazy working on your dissertation and spending so much time in front of a computer in your own home?
Who says I’m not going crazy? Actually, it doesn’t bother me to be home virtually all the time. Sometimes I have problems focussing, but only when I’m doing something other than actual writing. Transcribing interviews or reading, for instance, I can only do for two hours at a time and then I have to switch to something else. I can literally write and re-write all day long without stopping, though. Sometimes I go to a cafe to work. Sometimes I am bad and play on-line too much, especially when there is something I’m trying to buy or figure out that is distracting me.
2. What would you do with $100,000?
That’s easy. I would use most of it for a downpayment and closing costs for an apartment. I would take maybe $5000 and save it for a vacation some time later this year. I might spend about $1000 on clothes, etc.
3. If you had a blog, what would it be called?
I actually once started a blog, but I never posted anything on it. I called it “Crasia,” I believe, which is one of J’s pet names for me.
4. Which do you like better – teaching a class that you get to design or writing a paper for a conference or journal?
Wow, that’s hard. It depends on so many things. Have I already figured out what the paper is about? If so, then I probably enjoy the process of actually writing and revising most. But teaching something I have chosen can be great too. I think because of my inherent shyness I probably enjoy the experience of writing more than the experience of teaching (which is still something I have to get nervous about). Also, right now I don’t get paid much to teach. I think if I ever do begin to make decent money that might change things. As it is now, writing a paper is probably better for my career than teaching, which helps it to feel more gratifying as well.
5. Where would you not be willing to move for your job?
Well that certainly is the big question, and the answer is I honestly don’t know. In fact, I don’t think we’re going to decide ahead of time. I think I’ll see where I get offers and then decide if the opportunity is worth it.
wow! Those are some kick ass answers.
I’ve got that soundtrack too. It rocks.
I WILL answer my ???. I promise. Just a chaotic week. But I will do it.