Karma good and bad

I really thought I must be on some sort of excellent karma upswing…

I could hardly sleep last night for worrying about missing Melissa’s wedding rehearsal Friday afternoon. I wanted to be there for her but I also felt this real sense of obligation about the whole jury thing. I did not feel like I should try to get out of it and I definitely did not want to lie to get out of it (like saying I was sick or something). I just couldn’t bring myself to consider it and so I was beating myself up for being a Very Bad Best Friend.

But then, today after lunch, I was rewarded for my good, noble, jury behavior and the case was settled! The timing was perfect so that we did not have to go back into the jury pool but were dismissed to go home and all my moral quandries were solved.

When I got home, feeling that the universe was having a particularly balanced day (neither my best friend nor the little Latvian plaintiff man had to be punished – and ALL because of MY good behavior!), I got a little bonus: I have funding to go to the CLNE conference in August, but when I tried to register I found there was no room and I was #23 on the waiting list, but today they called to say there was a space for me!!

The second message was not so exciting, though….

It seems that my progesterone is low – low enough that the nurse on the message said I needed to be put immediately on progesterone suppositories. Unfortunately, the message made it clear that she thought that I already had the prescription for these but I do not and when I called I was told that everyone was gone and no one could get me a prescription until tomorrow. And we all know what a terribly excessive amount of worrying can be done before tomorrow!

At the urging of my Mother-In-Law, I called back and made a bigger fuss and they agreed to track down the doctor to call in the prescription. So here’s hoping that works.

For all those not playing along at home, progesterone is the hormone (?) responsible for the length of the luteal phase (from ovulation to menstruation) and it makes the uterine lining nice and full and ready for an implanting blastocyst to carve a little home for itself.

If you have low progesterone, you may get pregnant, but your lining will not have time during your short luteal phase to make itself inviting enough, and just when the little blastocyst is worming its way into your heart and uterus, it will be shed when your period comes along and wallops it away.

I, of course, am obsessing about the perceived urgency of the message because I am convinced that they have number showing that I might be pregnant or something and that I am going to lose it because of the low progesterone. This is, of course, extremely unlikely. I don’t know the number since I just got that weird message and didn’t get to talk to a nurse, but the likelihood is that I have a low number and they want to put me on right away JUST IN CASE I am pregnant. They probably don’t know any more than I do, as it is only 8 Days Post Ovulation.

But guess who will be doing a pregnancy test in the morning?

I was having such a totally blase, relaxed, focused-on-other-things Two Week Wait. Now this has to come along and make me totally crazy and worried. My mind gets all ahead of itself to “never” and “incurable deficiency” and “miscarriage” and “unsustainable pregnancy” and “bad, bad uterus” (OK, more specifically, it’s the corpus luteum that is responsible, so “bad, bad corpus luteum” but I knew most of you wouldn’t know what that was so…).

Freaking. Out.