Frankly, this waiting thing is becoming just the teensiest bit tiresome.

I have read, more than once, a suggestion on the Trying To Conceive bulletin boards that perhaps women should develop the ability to show two pink lines on the stomach when they have successfully conceived, just to take the waiting out of this. As strange as it might look in a bikini, I have to say I am pro-this development.

Day 7. Implantation may occur today. The blastocyst may be machete-ing its way into my uterine lining, cutting up capillaries and appropriating them for its own use. Or it may not be.

I had a temperature dip, which can be implantation or which can mean I’m totally not pregnant. I’ve also read that some people think the Implantation Dip is a myth anyway. So again we are back to just not knowing. Just waiting.

I’m just so bored with it all.

Things I will be doing if I am not pregnant

* Drinking. Until I am drunk.

* Taking Flexeril and sleeping like a goddamn log.

* Using every allergy medication known to man.

* Taking the hottest bath anyone has ever taken for as long as physically possible.

* Breathing in dryer, cleaning product, diesel fumes. Whatever.